Ask me absolutely anything.

Anonymous asked: There is this guy and I really like him, but we're not even like close and he's like 3 years older than me (im 14 he's 17) everyones always joking saying we should go out, but he always say no and shit. He doesn't know I like him, and I dont want to tell him, cos it'll make things way to awkward .. I planned on getting drunk and drunk texting him :L But what do you think I should do? Get to know him more? Tell him now? Im so confused what to do, but I seriously cant stop thinking bout him ..

- Lydia

Do not drunk text him. That is probably the most awkward thing to do: you may get so drunk that you tell him other stuff, he may think it is just the drink talking, he may think you have forgotten or didn’t mean it and so won’t mention it again, etc. Just, don’t do it.

Instead, get to know him more, ask him to go out somewhere so you can talk and bond. Then maybe tell him that you have feelings for him, but don’t make him feel awkward. Say that there are no hard feelings if he doesn’t feel the same way. Then, if he doesn’t like you back, at least you have gained a friend :)

Anonymous asked: I've been texting this guy from my old school and he told me he wants to tell me some thing important i have no idea what it is and i like him but i don't know if he likes me back!

- Lydia

Well ask him to tell you what is so important. You never know, it may be that he likes you back. If not, then still tell him how you feel because you don’t want to miss an opportunity just because you were scared or shy :)

Anonymous asked: what is the best way to move on?

To show the person who hurt you how much better off you are without them.
Allow yourself to be happy, let go of the past.

-Cara

Anonymous asked: if he never initiates the conversation, should i keep initiating them?

-Lydia

Unless it seems that he is getting annoyed with you then yes, you may as well :)

Anonymous asked: this guy who used to go to my school but now goes somewhere else has been texting me a lot and saying he wants to go see a movie together. however, the days after he asked me to go see a movie with him, he stopped texting and chatting me first. when i text/chat him, he responds and it seems like he's enjoying the conversation, but he never initiates it. what's going on?

He’s a guy, this is pretty normal lol.

As long as you’re not getting one-word answers, you should be good.
-Cara

Anonymous asked: I love my boyfriend more than anything in the world. We've been together a while now & my mom is even starting to ask when he's gonna propose. The only thing is, he was sexually abused as a child & so he has trouble getting turned on & staying turned on, because he really overthinks things during sex. Do you have any suggestions on how I could calm him down and be more supportive? I never know what to do or say when it happens in the middle of sex. Thanks so much.

That’s tough. I can’t guarantee you I know what I’m talking about, but I’ll tell you what I would do.

Ask him to talk to you about it, and assure him that WHENEVER he wants to mention something about it to you, he can. Don’t pressure him, or beg him to tell you. Just let him know you’ll always listen and keep it a secret, and you think it would be good for your relationship. Maybe getting more of the details of it off of his chest will lift the burden from his spirit a little bit.

Find out some of his fetishes he may have never told you. He may be really into being dominant, or he might want to be dominated. Maybe he wants something kinky, or something really gentle and romantic. Watch some porn together and ask him what he thinks about different things. But whatever role he prefers in the bedroom, he may feel more comfortable embracing his own fantasies rather than having sex that reminds him of his past. Ask him what makes him the most comfortable, and go all out until you perfect it.

LOTS of foreplay/affection on your part. Kiss him the entire time, and constantly be looking in his eyes and touching him. Talk to him or moan as much as possible. These things will help remind him that he’s with you, and it will keep his mind from wandering and getting distracted. Tell him you love him a lot. Tease him loads and loads before even beginning to touch him. Hopefully this will get his mind in the game.

When it happens during sex, DON’T say anything like “it’s okay” or anything that makes you sound like you feel bad for him. When he stops, tell him how AMAZING he was, and describe in detail what he did to you that felt so amazing. Smile and laugh and tell him you love him and his body and his… ;). EVERY TIME, even if he gets down on himself, assure him you love him and everything was perfect, and don’t stop saying it until he believes you.

I hope this helps at all, I’ve never dealt with this before, but I hope the best for you two.
-Cara

Anonymous asked: I have a really good guy friend who i talk to every day. I told him that I like him a while ago and he said he's not interested in a relationship right now...which is understandable because his girlfriend of a year broke up with him a few months ago. I love him, actually. He's the nicest guy i've ever been good friends with and I really want to be more than friends but the waiting is driving me crazy. He gives subtle compliments to me and stuff but it never changes. Advice?

You just need to ask him, flat out.
“Even though you don’t want a relationship right now, do you like me?”
Ask him to tell you the complete truth, and accept his answer.

He may just want to be friends, and you may be “waiting” for nothing and reading the signs wrong. Just ask him, and be prepared to actually ACCEPT the answer. Don’t be lead on by his friendship, hoping it’s more than what it is. If he doesn’t feel the same, there’s nothing you can do about it.

-Cara

Anonymous asked: i've liked this guy(call him A) for a longtime, but we never talk. lately i've been starting to have feelings for someone else(call him B), and for some reason i think he might have feelings for me too(even my friend asked me if he likes me). he talks to me, and its a hell of a lot easier to talk to him! he's nice to me, and anytime he does something funny and i look over and laugh, he laughs too. downside is he has a girlfriend. im so confused, and its so hard to forget A but i need too :(

Well, either talk to A or don’t. But if you don’t talk to him, nothing is going to happen. Build up some courage and talk to him :) He’s not going to bite. And if he doesn’t want to talk, then maybe he’s uninterested and you’ll just have to try to keep your mind off of him. Crush’s like that never seem to go away because we don’t let them, but if you look real deep deep down inside, you’ll realize your feelings for him were shallow and easily overcome-able; you’re probably just looking for someone to like, and using him (we all do it :p)

And don’t mess with B until he is single. You don’t want to get played, and if he’s flirting with you while he has a girlfriend, he’ll probably flirt with other girls while he dates you. Just be careful, and make sure he’s not the “player” type. But, his girlfriend doesn’t deserve you trying to steal her boyfriend, so just wait until he’s single. If he already likes other girls while he’s taken, I’m sure it won’t be long before he’s single again.

-Cara

avatarjane asked: I wouldn't have cared if they went out with me but the fact that they tried to hide it made my mad. So I tweeted about them, indirectly :/ and they found out that it was about them. Now they're not talking to me. I walked home with them yesterday trying to talk to them but things went bad. They brought along this guy that I think that has always secretly hated me. And he was butting into everything. And they were telling me that i'm too bitchy and I need to prove I can stop... :// I said sorry.

avatarjane asked: I've been going through a really hard time in the past 2-3 weeks. Me and my boyfriend are having a hard time... he's confusing me, he's broken up with me and told me he wanted me back more than a few times. What do I do? Another problem 2 (A & T) of the few of my closest friends aren't talking to me and it's my fault. I went on A's Facebook without her knowing and read her messages about me :/ They went out without me and tried to hide it, ---continued!

Well, he either doesn’t know what he wants, or he is fighting the fact that he likes you but is unhappy in your relationship. You just need to talk to him about it, and either pledge to fix everything, or maybe consider ending things for good (maybe consider getting back together after he works out his own issues). You’ll never realize it beforehand, but sometimes, you’re better off without the person you’re refusing to let go.

Don’t take their words as insults, take it as “constructive criticism”. Maybe you don’t mean to sound rude, but you come off that way to your friends, so maybe you should put effort into changing that. And not just “try for one day” effort, like, think about it everyday until you genuinely feel different.

But, really, you don’t sound like the bitch, your friends do. Consider hanging out with some new people/ people you are getting to know. Believe or not, there ARE mature people out there, who wont go behind your back and say rude things about you constantly. Don’t worry, problems with friends always get better eventually, one way or the other.

I hope any of this helps. Stay positive, and just remember: When it seems like you’re losing everyone at the same time, you’re going to naturally want to blame it all on yourself. But don’t, because it’s not all your fault. It takes TWO people to run a friendship/relationship, and if you’re trying to fix it, and they’re not trying at all, it’s their fault, not yours, and you’re better off without the drama.

-Cara